Hey everybody. 20M here, hope you’re all well. I just wanted to make a post here to sort of vent, and see if anyone has any opinions I guess.

Life’s been pretty rough recently. I had broken up with my girlfriend and I’ve just felt awful since. She was a bit like a mommy to me in a lot of ways (I even met her on Reddit) and I loved her so much. She was so sweet, kind and generous to me. My first ever relationship and I really don’t know if I could’ve asked for much better. But after a lot of thinking I decided that in the long run it probably wasn’t going to work out due to some difference in values that were pretty important to me. As much as I didn’t want to I had to make a decision. I told her we needed to talk over the phone, and drove a few hours the next day to go see her. We talked and she was hurt. She said some very hurtful things to me and didn’t understand my perspective in the slightest, and she seemed to hate me for it. I felt awful for making her feel the way she did, and I felt awful for bringing out a much more harsh and hurtful side of her I’d never seen before. I wanted to do my best to make it as easy for her as I possibly could, but it stings so badly how much she seems to despise me for it.

Since then. It’s been rough. I know I made the right decision but it doesn’t make it any easier. I wish it did. Every day I’ve been going to uni and working on my assessments (which I had hoped would be a distraction but it’s felt so much more like an obstacle). Whenever I’m not talking to an online friend, or anyone (which is most of the time) I feel so awful and so lonely. I miss the embrace and the comfort so much. I miss the love and the security. I miss being told how great I’m doing and how everything’s gonna be okay. I know with time this’ll likely pass. But it just feels so painful.

I’ve thought about reaching out on Reddit again. Seeing if I can find someone new and wonderful to help fill the missing comfort. But I don’t know if I can, or should. I feel like it’d be wrong to, but I feel like I need the connection so badly.

Thank you to anyone who’s read this. Whether you comment or not, I appreciate it so much. I don’t really know the purpose of this post anymore, I just needed to get this out and talk to people I guess.

I hope you all have a wonderful day/night. Whoever you are. You’re all amazing