“Hello! I’m Doctor Darthensmirtz, formerly evil scientist now on parole! Now if you’re like me having a nice wool carpet is really nice, up until the moment you accidentally shock someone with a painful amount of static electricity! To combat this I would like to present my latest invention! The Destaticinator! This lightweight and fashionable piece of headgear takes static electricity that builds up in your body and clothes and redirects it away from say, that friendly Platypus, and instead at your worst enemy like Perry the Platypus!….. I mean, harmlessly into the air!……

​

“So you replaced all the carpets with shag carpet and waited?”

“Yup. The day after we learned about Harrow’s weapon.”

“Do our countermeasures work?”

“So far yes.”

“Even in Orbit? “Yes,”

“Good, keep continuing the project until you have the progress required.”

“Of course commander”