This is long, but I want to explain why I struggle with little things on a daily basis.

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I grew up poor. I'm talking really, really poor.

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I grew up in southeast Asia, where this level of poverty was common. Every day after school, I'd wait for my brother to pick me up. Usually, I'd wait 15-20 minutes and by that time my friends would all be gone. My brother finished work later and I would typically wait an hour, sometimes two for him to reach the school. Across the street from my school there was a café that served local street food. Customers would come and go, and the café had a huge garbage can outside that they would throw left over food into (food left behind by customers).

Every day, without failure, a group or groups of YOUNG children, would come to the garbage can and eat the left over food out of it. Every. Single. Day. I must have been in my early teens and these kids could not have been more than 8-9 years old. They would come in their underwear or sometimes no clothes at all and reach into the garbage with their hands and put the food in their mouths. It was honestly so so sad.

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FAST FORWARD 25 years... I no longer live in my country and have immigrated to North America. I thankfully, have a stable job and am able to provide for my family- something I had never envisioned for myself.

THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS POST is to try to understand how to let things go- how to throw things away and rid myself of things, DESPITE being told SAVE SAVE SAVE my entire life. The things I have seen have taught me to value each and everything I have, and I am blessed to say that I have a lot. But I still lack the COURAGE to throw away things, to reduce. I was taught to be a hoarder, and these values have stuck with me. To this very day, I never waste food and find it very difficult to throw things away, due to things I've seen. Every time I try, I remember those kids/ dirt covered faces, reaching in the garbage, eating whatever they can.

If you have any advice, I am all ears. This community and the minimalism movement in general have taught me so much, and have created a tremendous amount of internal peace. That being said, my kids say I have to let things go, and stop trying to 'fix' everything. It's just hard to do given the things I've seen and how I grew up.

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Thanks for reading.