So I had a migraine that was just absolutely awful all of last week. I had to leave work early two days in a row, and missed 3 big events I was looking forward to. On Thursday of last week, I’m at work and it was just getting worse, so i decided to run to the urgent care on my lunch break to see if they could do anything. They offered me the toradol shot.

And here’s the thing. It worked. It worked so well, I had 36 hours that were completely pain free. I don’t think I’ve been pain free like that in over 10 years. I got so much done, I was so happy and productive. I didn’t feel stupid or dumb from the brain fog, my balance was normal, and I wasn’t exhausted like usual. It was wonderful.

And I regret it so much. Because when the pain started back, everything felt so much worse. I had forgotten what life was like before chronic migraine. It made me realize how much this condition has effected my life, and how much it’s taken from me.

I already suffer from depression, but after the pain came back, it hit me so hard. I feel so hopeless, and honestly, I’m really struggling with suicidal thoughts. It’s not that I want to die. I just want to not be in pain any more. I am so tired of living like this. I’m just so exhausted.