I was clean for over four years started drinking and one night I relapsed on meth with my ex! it happen about 3-4 times in about a month and a half! Well then, I ended up back with that ex and he used every day so we used together! Its been about 8 months since the night I relapsed and I just recently left the ex! I've had 3-4 day here and there but end up back at it! I work a full-time job I go to college like I’m busy! I do one shot a day on most days two of in trying to have some fun! But I just wanna quit and still be able to get up every day go to work and do my schooling. I want to get back to the way I was before all this happened and I decided to throw away my sobriety. I don’t like the way it makes me feel. I don’t like the way it makes me act. I just don’t wanna do it anymore. Please tell me how I can get off this without having to go to a program.