Basically wrote everything I needed to get my question/point across in the title I feel so ya. I'm not in like a horrible heads pace or anything, could better for sure, just accepted that dating is out of the question, not just cuz of me using and accepting no one would want to deal with that let alone ever expect it, but because I don't have a job and haven't since April of this year (fucked I know) and due to that (and unemployment ending awhile ago) not having money. I told my nurse practitioner who prescribes my meds in the past (earlier this summer) that I was using, and just told her again a few weeks ago after not seeing her for months due to not having the money to pay the bill, but it got resolved. Anyway, on response to me still using, she took away my adderall XR prescription. More accurately paired me down from 15mg to 5mg (and still needs her approval so I don't even have that yet). I've been prescribed a stimulant starting back in 3rd grade, wasn't adderall to start, that came in like 7th/8th grade. But he reasoning was that I shouldn't be using 2 stimulants or that I was abusing stimulants which was not the case and tried to explain that, but an addict explaining anything in that instance is just immediately disregarded. The only time I ever "abused" my adderall was in college. I pulled an all nighter, so I woke up and took 1 adderall like normal, had my classes and went to work, came home and was studying doing homework and writing a paper. Got so late and to the point that if I fall asleep now I'm missing morning classes so suck it up and stay awake. At about 3:30/4am I took my adderall for that next day. So I guess considering I didn't go to sleep, in my mind, I took 2 adderalls in "one day" when really it was after midnight, you get it. And on top of that, I quickly figured out when I first started using that ya I just felt weird, like too wired when I took my meds and used so Id either not use a lot to not reach that point of "uhhhhho fuuck I feel weird" or just didn't take my adderall that day and used more meth. But point being how did you stop and manage to stop and just accept your cravings but not act on them? Did you have any meth in your possession when you went thru your dry period? (I'd assume for those that totally stopped you either didn't have any or got rid of it.) But ya I wanna know some different perspectives here. Thanks