Seems like an endless battle,work is going good,bringing in good $$ got stable living arrangement finally,and then I will absolutely need to have a point or 2 after work and then after a few clouds I start sending embarrassing pics on reddit and edging and then doing embarrassing sexual acts which feel amazing at the time all of which would completely tear down everything I worked for over the last few years and then struggle with the comedown at work and will not have any for couple of days and get back into routine and then the urge hits me again,and unfortunately when I have some I tend to stay home because people can pick that I’m high from a mile away and am very unpredictable(bipolar)which has caused isolation and the biggest problem is my girl deals and we don’t really get along when high l(it’s either her way or one hell of an argument)but I fiend when I see her,I don’t want to loose her but when I do see her and she has few puffs she goes all rush and needs to be 100 places at once but I just want few puffs and chill because I already done full days work,it’s so hard because I want to quit,I don’t want to move away and turn my back on friends/family/work and kids but it’s like a ticking time bomb,anyone else in similar situation and have some advice,we have lived in separate houses but she always ends up with me cause of money and what once was,we try and go our own ways but it’s like the magnet effect….