And continue to use?

I've got some liver issues, from drinking in the past. Was a fifth a day for ten years I actually quit drinking a year ago when my mom died but I picked up a pipe again too. It had been twelve years off dope for me when I started again.

I've got some heart issues going on as well, they want me to get a stent. My blood pressure is fucked too, extremely hypertensive. Been throwing up a lot lately too. Just bile.

I'm 36, had a good friend die a few weeks ago as well, alcoholism. He was the one person I felt I could be real with...fuck I miss him. People are so fucking fake in general...all I see around me is just greed and narcissism. Didn't have anybody even ask me how I'm really doing this last year with the deaths...it's made me really bitter.

I need to quit or this is gonna kill me but I find it hard to care about that . This is all I have anymore

Just having a rough night I guess

Anyone similar out there ?