Hello everyone, I believe I am thoroughly cooked, and I would appreciate any and all advice. So to start out I am a complete and total junkie, I am almost 25, since my 19 I have struggled with addiction. At my worst I used a gram of fent a day and however much crack I could afford, every day. Since I turned 21 I've been on and off the stuff separated by visits to rehab and bouts of sobriety against the fear of homelessness. I most recently had my last stint in treatment at the beginning of this year, and since then I've been off the stuff mostly.

I started messing with meth close to probably three weeks ago, my girlfriend of like 2 and a half years whom lived with me and who I was planning to propose to decided to pack her shit and go ghost while I was out of town on work one day. It was her right to leave but she was incredibly cruel about it and ended up coming back into my life just to use me financially and string me along until she decided she made a mistake and ghosted me once again for good. A few days before her final departure from my life my closest and only friend in the town I live in died of an overdose unexpectedly. These don't make my relapse okay, but this is what pushed me over the edge I had already been peeking over for the past few months.

I've been using daily, I can't stop, mostly because I don't want to. But I can't take what it's doing to me. I will admit in the beginning I did not take care of myself I did not hydrate or eat or get exercise or sleep, but in the past week or so I have been doing all of that the best I can. So 4 days ago I "overdosed" I had been taking meth orally all night, two good sized doses throughout the night followed by one more small one early the morning of my trip to the ER. This is where I fucked up.

After my third dose me and this girl I had spending the night were fucking and my little guy would NOT stay hard no matter what, I started to sweat more than I've ever sweat in my entire life. We stopped and I felt my heart pounding through my chest, as if I had just sprinted the last mile of a marathon. I told her I think I'm having a heart attack, reluctant to go to the hospital I sat in the shower and turned it on. This girl by the way, I had only met two days prior, she stayed with me the whole time holding my hand, talking to me to distract me from my heart rate, bringing me water, magnesium, cayenne pepper/water mixture etc.

I tried to do box breathing and slow my heart, nothing worked. I asked her how long had this been going on and she said an hour, this made me panic and my heart rate climb even more. I asked her to take me to the ER and we went, the added stress of the situation had my clutching my chest the whole way there expecting the worse. To speed up the story I'll just say what happened at the er. I was honest, they took blood samples. They said it wasn't a heart attack but that I overdosed and my potassium was extremely low. They didn't give me any benzos or anything besides saline through iv, and a big potassium pill. They did more bloodwork and the doctor came in and told me there was no damage to my heart and gave me a talk about the dangers of amphetamine abuse and sent me on my way.

Since then I have taken two doses orally no bigger than 30mg with at least a day in between, I barely get high but for the entirety of the high and after I experience heart pounding, muscle tightness, muscle cramps, chest pain, difficulty breathing, im slow asf mentally even after a lot of sleep and eating. I take magnesium, potassium, advil/ibuprofen,tums every day. I'm on suboxone as well if that matters. Right now I have not used since yesterday afternoon probably around 1pm, and I'm still getting most of these symptoms to the point I've had to call out of work and will probably have to tonight. The supplements seem to help most of the muscle tightness in my back near my shoulder blades and my front near rib cage go away, but I have almost constant heart flutters and my heart rate raises so easily. If I bend down to pick something up, or stand up after sitting down, or even move faster than a slow walk my heart starts pounding. I'm scared to even fuck, and I'm sure subconsciously me worrying about it makes it even worse. I work a very physical job working in the trades, im really worried and really depressed. I was a fool to ever pick this shit up but I knew it wasn't going to end well, I've seen people lose their minds/lives on it many times before my recent start on it. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't want to quit, I'm afraid if I do I will either blow my brains out or start back on fent. Just being honest. Plus I have a ball of really good stuff just sitting there laughin at me 😵‍💫 please help ya boy out, thanks ✌️

Tl;dr "Overdosed" on meth while boinkin, doc says ticker's fine. Can't do shit without feeling like my hearts gonna explode. Help.