It’s my second week at my new job and I already called in.. the anxiety from smelling like meth over consumes me. Despite all the showers and workouts it still hard to bear. I know it’s not the end of the world but I’m desperately tired of this repetitive cycle. It’s not just meth, I was abusing drugs and losing jobs fresh out of high school. Xanax,coke and alcohol you name it. On the outside I look physically healthy, I almost look like who I want to be.A disciplined 27 year old who learned to love himself and left the drugs for the gym. The truth is that on the inside my soul is in a lot of pain and it’s very tired of this. I have tried therapy but it don’t really work for me. Rehab cost money and I’m trying to catch up on bills. When will it be time to end it? I ask myself.