Now my life in a poem or whatever yall wanna call it:

Outside of the community, now on to the streets this part is more about me.

I do this drug to ease my pain, to coop with life and its suffering.

I never wish this on my worst enemies, losing your mom & dad when you were only 23.

6 months apart, 1 month from my birth day my mom dies after my dad, I’m sitting here asking god why me?

Times are hard, I can’t find a job, worrying about money, my next meal, & if I’ll have a roof over my head! Or will it just be the shirt on my back!?

Then my so called friend, he comes in will call him Rob, because thats all that he did.

Lied to me, thinking I have someone to save us a place to live. Nope he was dead inside, robbing me of my old life that I happily lived!

Snaking me, selling everything in the house even my moms wedding rings that my dad worked so hard for. I asked god why me? Why did you give me this life to live? Heroin at that time, was me trying to fight the demons inside. I was hoping it was just a dream inside of me. All this pain, misery, & suffering I realized this isn’t a dream Wish I would wake up & everything go back the same!

One month later I’m on the streets I worked at McDonald’s trying to make ends meet. Rob he was just a heroin fein, he went his own ways just leaving me! That man gave me no money or nothing! But he took everything, something’s that were memories that I’ll never get back! I feel nothing will ever be the same again everything is just slowly fading away Why should I even live?

No car just a backpack, cigar, & dirty as can be. My sister I thought she was gonna help me! Nope, just took everything from me, for her own selfish greed! I couldn’t decide who was worse, the heroine fein or my sister I don’t ever see!?

She was outta the picture for a decade, When I stood 10 toes down taking care of my mom & dad because they had a disease. I was man of the house, when my sister was just states & states away from me!

I keep saying god, oh god why did you pick me!? No shoulder to cry on, no one to lean toward, no one to listen to me!

All this pain is caving in on me, I don’t know how much more I can take. I can already hardly breathe I been crying tears so deep I look like I’m swimming in my own sea, the sea of sorrow!

My father left off in another state to die. Our last words were an heated argument, Unfortunately I didn’t get to say the proper goodbye!

It never gets better, I don’t know if I’ll ever live better. This life is a life worth shattering to pieces, because I’m broken & I don’t think I’ll ever be repaired, I’m nothing but a broken mirror.

Then my mom, our last words weren’t the greatest either… Last things you heard I’m in jail & now addicted to heroin from someone I told to keep it a secret!! Then you passed away on me the next day! Ex was calling your phone but mom didn’t answer… Worried so call out a welfare check CO comes back to my cell says my name I jump up thinking it’s my last day!!

All the sudden I hear him say, leave your stuff just come with me. Jolted with joy, smiling ear to ear! Just for my smile to go upside down! Joy snatched out of me, I’m use to it. Sorrow said this is my place to be!

I’m Confused, I’m lost, oh sir what could this be, my life is already in shambles!! He turns around and says son… Your mom passed away last night, in the house at some time…

Now back to the streets, I have nobody, I feel like even god has abandoned me! How can you expect me to believe, when god you’ve selected all this to happen to me!!

I’ve been nice to everyone I see, so why, oh why me!?!? I’m all alone, thinking maybe I should just die no one will know, no one will care, I’m all alone, with nothing to show, down & out, ready to throw the white flag I can see the grim reaper peeping out at me!

I’m so scared I might have a warrant for defending myself years ago.

Years ago this stupid guy throws hot water on my face I beat the guy but the government instead…

decided to petty the pitty guy, the one that looks dead inside…

The poor guy with nothing left to see. Government thinking will lock him in a cage with the other animals I guess that’s how the government sees What can I do, I’ll just take it, I’m out manned with nothing left for me to stand!

Still on the streets, with nothing but me! Shelters full, food pantries, but I have no ID! Starving nothing to eat, the holidays so cold & helpless Then me with a lost soul, that’s also so cold it feels like an ice necklace.

To far away from homeless kitchens I knew I had to eat. Stealing a candy bar & drink got the cuffs put back on me! Worth 6 dollars & I guess it was worth me…

Fucked again, just another normal story for me!

Eventually I get sent up the road, for a stupid fight I was in, there’s more sorrow & pain but I’ll just let this end here!

Enough about me I firstly wanna say I’m sorry to my mom & dad, plus all the others I put thru this pain!

I never thought this would be me, but maybe God has a better plan for me…

I wanna think everyone that had to deal with me, all the suffering & misery! Everyone in my life ya’ll truly deserve everything, happiness, love, & prosperity! I want them to win & that’s why I always will put them ahead of me, in every situation we’re in!

Everyone that might have stayed for the read, cherish the moments you have, because your life might not be what you want it to be! I still struggle with depression, trauma, & anxiety! That’s why this little crystal I believe helps me!

I’m still lost but more profound than ever before. “Sorta not really” I just hope this war Will end & I’ll be finally be at peace once more!

The end…