I wake up its 6:37am my pants are around my ankles and im in a baseball dugout..i took to much ghb three hours ago..after swallowing some meth and alkaseltzer along in the bottle with the last of my water. I felt like i did when when me and my brother were on the same baseball team for little league. The world was okay still in my mind. I fight to keep my eyes open while i indulged in porn while the morning trolleys were getting ready for the morning rush hour of people who didnt have to take a cocktail of drugs to feel hope.

My body needs water and it needs it now. Ive been up for past 5 days with this 3 hour ghb nap..i had no money,phone is dead and nobody gives a fuck about my tweaker ass. My mouth like sandpaper that has been sunbathing in deathvalley for the last decade. Fuck i say. How can i not prepare and not have water. Oh yah i was fucking broke. Also no water faucets or running water anywhere close.

Its hot,its july 4th and i have been wearing the same outfit for 3 weeks. I see a trashcan and it looks like an oasis in the desert. And it was....no bottles with water or any liquid...fuck i say out loud again. I walk across the infield to the next trashcan and remeber pitching 30 years ago in little league. Fuck i say with invisible tears. Im too dehydrated to cry. I check the next oasis NOTHING but a bottle with a uknown liquid that looks a week old. As myself a river bottom tent dwelling tweaker i thought about it. Fuck i say and throw the bottle in dispair

I walk to the streets. 2 miles of hotels in a circle..im high af still eyes scanning like the machines from war of worlds for a bottle on the ground with water. Its monday morning not known for lots of hotel guests..i pass a few and say "hey im so sorry but im willing to do anything for some water" the sketchy character laughs i dont have any water but have other things. He ment drugs. Fuck i mutter and power walk away eyes sunken and scanning the sidewalks. I already had drugs asshole.

After about a hour of finding notning. The hotels put locks on the spickets for the hoses. I say fuck and laugh. How the fuck is this happening again? Im alone and homeless at the baseball field and river bottom shooting and drinking meth cocktails. Ive been surviving off stealing candy bars and premade sandwiches from 711. While using guys from grinder for a occasional shower so i can wash my clothes and shower at their motel room. So i can go boost.

Im getting dizzy as i walk back to my dwelling. I see one last person. I run up to him and say "brother i need some water ill do anything" he looks at me strangely. Im not a ugly guy and still have my wits. He looks me up and down. Dusty mother fucker he saw. Says he will be right back and brings back what was the most important bottle of water ive ever seen. He handed it to me and i say thank you so much and im sorry for bothering him. He replied " just get sober and pay it forward, thats what i did" he had 3 years sober and lived and the same river bottom. He stays here at this motel to remind himself how it was when he was in my shoes. And thanked me for helping him with that.

I shook his hand like a brother ill never see again. I chugged the most important bottle of water in my life. I got sober a month later..anyways...thats just a day in a life of a tweaker . Im 2 weeks sober now