If she's as smart as she thinks she is, she will understand that my absence was on purpose and hopefully she will take it personally. But with her being the most self-centered person I've ever met, she probably didn't even noticed that I wasn't there.

But I wasn't alone behind the gas station parking lot: There was a weird old man drinking a beer and eating a hot dog while talking to himself underneath a tree. I like weird old men, the kind who don't give a fuck and have a good time no matter what. It didn't take long for seagulls to surround him on a gang mission to attack him to get his food. He quickly stood up sensing the danger, tearing up pieces of his hot dog violently to throw them to the gulls while menancing to 'kill them all'. The fact that he fed them while wanting to kill them still don't make sense to me, but I guess he had his own logic there. He was an adult throwing a tantrum at birds, going as far as uttering death threats, and honestly I was having a blast witnessing the whole scene.

He took a box out of his Coors Light or Labatt packback or whatever, and opened it. He started to unpack it out in the open, and I saw a big bag of weed, a grinder, paper and, as if saving the best for last, a mini scale. I deducted that he was more involved into it that I thought, and it was now obvious that I wouldn't be the only one getting fucked up behind that gas station corner during lunchtime. Now, I had no doubt that diving in my purse to grab a pinch of meth to ingest it was a safe thing to do around him, even if I seriously doubt he noticed I was right there the whole time.

He started to grind weed vigorously and proceeded to roll himself a joint, laid on his back underneath the tree and lit it up. A couple of minutes later, he was laughing hysterically while stomping on the ground with both his feet. I wished that one day, I'll be funny enough to laugh with myself that much too.

I would have preferred to spend my afternoon getting fucked up with him feeding and terrorizing seagulls, but I was high enough to put back on my fake work bubbly personality. Even better, my boss invented ANOTHER CRAFTY LIE to leave the office to work from home (her mom had an emergency and couldn't pick up dog from the groomer). I've never seen someone tell as much lies as me to get out of the office, but honestly I win. My excuses are so elaborated that I can plant the seed days, even weeks, before it actually end up requiring me to work from home.

All in all, I'm almost done with my work day at the office and my future looks bright without this micromanaging-perfectionist-main-character-self-centered-superficial-condescending piece of human trash in my life. She might be pretty and smart and fool everyone else, but not me. I just hope one day she'll have a boss that makes her as miserable as she made me, and that she will outgrow her awful personality and become a decent human being.