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I can’t work without meth anymore
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I only have to go to the office 2x a week, and this is when I do all my tasks. The rest of the week, I do mostly nothing else but getting drunk.

For the past year, I’ve been doing meth when I go to the office and it went super well. It makes me focused, productive, social, and the best of all: it cures my hangover.

But today, I couldn’t get any meth. The girl that usually sells hasn’t been at her usual spot. I am completely sober at work. I didn’t think it would be THAT HARD…I’ve only been at my desk for 1h30 and my brain is so foggy I am completely worthless. Of course I’m hangover as hell, I feel a panic attack lurking in the shadows, I am mega irritable…Tired…It’s a complete NIGHTMARE.

Right now, I would do almost anything to get meth to survive this day. I asked everybody at the homeless shelter and at the 2 other spots downtown where the dope is.

I am working on an excuse to escape work as soon as possible. I am suffocating. I’m considering quitting my job entirely if I have to experience this again. I am feeling so uncomfortable. I have mega social anxiety, and spending 8 hours at a desk surrounded by people is killing me to the point where I can’t think straight. Fortunately I don’t have any pressing tasks, but I’m smoking outside literally every 30 mins. I can’t take this anymore.

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Posted
5 months ago