My life, as well as doing meth and drinking spiraled out of control since I got a new micromanagingw high-standard perfectionist boss 3 months ago. More and more, I couldn’t fucking take it and it made me literally insane.

My ex has been homeless for like 7-8 years and the idea of quitting my job, leaving my apartment and living in the streets with him seemed like the best option AT THAT MOMENT. I also took my vacation week this week and I wanted to test the waters, so I could ‘allow myself to fuck up’

So I met with my schizophrenic ex WHO WAS BARELY RESPONSIVE cause he is literally too sick to have a convo, and more and more people came and hang out with us go to have a chat and in the moment IT FELT LIKE I WAS TRULY MYSELF.

People were giving me both meth and crack in exchange of beers and smokes and I WAS FEELING SO LOVED, SO TAKEN CARE OF, until when the sun came up a lot of them, well, most of them, just wanted to DO DRUGS. OR FUCK ME. they were nice to me cause I had stuff and I was talking A LOT and about VERY personal and unsual shit, and the drugs made me feel like I loved each person more than the next. AND THE CONFIDENCE. HOLY FUCK. I FELT THAT EVERYONE LOVED ME, EVEN ME. But I did…fucking disgusting things to get drugs. You probably know what I mean, but my eX DIDNY EVEN CARE AT ALL.

And the whole night/day, MY EX WAS FUCKING SLEEPING AND NOT CARING. And I kept repeating over and over HOW MUCH I WAS OBSESSED WITH HIM and people kept telling me it was not healthy and he was VERY SICK and VERY ADDICT and I should leave.but he wanted me to stay time again and again but I felt so overwhelmed more and more.

I was holding on for him to be mor talkative and loving CAUSE SOMETIMES HE IS but no fucking way is this guy going to protect me in the street or even anything else. EVER.

Now I’m finally home and both my plans of quitting work to be homeless or back with my ex ARE TERRIBLE AND GONE. That leaves me ONLY ONE OPTION: ENDURE THE PRESSURE AND TOXIC ENVIRONMENT AT WORK WITH THIS INSANE BOSS.

And i cant leave cause I’m even LUCKY they hired me with all my past and all, criminal records, MULTIPLE, and YEARS without working, NO REFERNCES cause it always ended up badly, and not a ton of experience, SO FUCK THIS I AM FUCKED.

I’m more and more convinced THIS PLACE IS ACTUALLY HELL.