Hello, I’m going to try to be very, very, brief telling my origin story.

I don’t want to release my age, but I’m a mid-late 20s female from a big city. Before you’re about to hear some depressing shit, let me give you a little fact about me, that has ties to said depressing info. My favorite album ever is Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge by MCR. I’ve had an eating disorder since the year it came out (2004), so you can do the math and figure out I’ve had one since elementary school. The album was also released on June 8th. 19 years after its release, happens to be the day I got hooked on methamphetamine. I used meth to help me stay committed to anorexia again. For those unaware, eating disorders are the #1 killer for mental disorders. My eating disorder rules my life when active.

I kept meth a secret from my spouse for a month. I still hid it going into this year. Then on her own, they tried it. We liked it for a lil, but we eventually got reminded of the bad.

We grew up doing lots of drugs together. Acid, shrooms, cocaine, X, molly, even helping them out in an overdose on their bday, etc. Because my ED, addiction, and overall mental health have spiraled, they don’t wanna be there as i’m getting help. should i feel upset or can someone help me understand why?? they’re not sober right now either they’re still doing drugs like cocaine. They say that they’re trying to get off of it. But I’m having to go to a facility because I have more mental trauma and things to deal with. I was SAed this year too by someone in my sleep, and the sexual trauma has honestly ruined our relationship.

I don’t want them to hold my hand every step of the way. But what would be the best way to have a happy middle ground between us where that they care about my treatment in someway, but they could still be from a distance? I hate how all this evil tore us apart.

I need all the stories. I need all the advice please share. i want my spouse back.