Thank God I am bipolar cause I can blame my mistakes at work on this instead of admitting that I’m doing meth.

For the past 3 months, I’ve been using more and more and my 2 bosses at work noticed cause the quality of my work declined and I’m somehow APPARENTLY confused. I knew that if I kept going on like this I would ultimately blow up and quit on a whim, so before it happened I decided to get commited to the psych ward cause I already have a bipolar diagnosis. IT WAS A CLOSE CALL!! If they knew I did meth I would get fired for sure. It’s probably the only time in my life I’m glad to have a mental illness.

This morning before going to the hospital I went downtown to score meth ONE LAST TIME and I met funny and nice homeless addicts to get fucked up with. And my ex was ther also but he was quite drunk and VERY schizophrenic and he wasn’t really responsive. He was muttering to himself and apparently he was having a full-blown conversation with the Virgin Mary. LOL!! He didn’t want to say what they were gossiping about, but it was about us and it was positive he said. Honestly I was kind of jealous cause he was talking more with his hallucination than me. But to him she is very real. I just hope he doesn’t have a crush on her. GUYS, I AM JEALOUS OF MY EX’s HALLUCINATION LOL good thing I’m in a psych ward!!!

I joked that he must really never be bored cause he’s always hearing voices, and he agreed. I am the total opposite, chronically bored and in need of stimulation and to fill the void caus I AM SO BORING.

This schizo ex just FASCINATES ME. For the past 4 years I’ve been OBSESSED WITH HIM. We stayed together 1 year but he broke up with me cause God told him I was evil, which is probably true. Honestly, WHAT IF HE WAS RIGHT AND HE CAN RALLY HEAR GOD!?

Well, anyways. At the monent I’m experiencing bipolar mania PLUS did some meth and I’m disrupting the whole psych ward with my maniacal laughter. I was starting convos with everyone and they told me to sit down and stay on my gurney cause I was causing a bit of a ruckus but man, THIS IS HOW I WANT TO FEEL ALL THE TIME!!!

I’m telling you, a bipolar high meth = INIMAGINABLE UNPARALLELED HIGH!!!

I am having the time of my life right now, but ask me tomorrow how I’m doing and I’ll probably say suicidal.

I just want to feel bipolar high high on meth for the rest of my life BUT ITS A ONE-TIME THING. I’m already sad knowing the best high of my life is going to end in a couple of hours.

From now on, if I want to keep my job, I NEED TO QUIT METH. I am not ready now but otherwise I’ll be a homeless addict back together with my ex who will probably be cheating on me psychologically with the Virgin Mary LOL