I know nobody is going to read this but i just need to let it out.

Around a 6 weeks ago I quit after a bad crash. 1 week later my plug texted me: "your order is ready ". Shit. I forgot before quitting i paid in advance for some premium shit. I didn't want to explain to him i had quit and all that, so i just replied 'I can't this week. 'Text you back next week'.

And i thought that would be the end of it because this guy can't remember shit. But i was wrong, he texted me again next week, and precisely that week i was having the worst cravings, so I fell for it. 'Ok, send it over'.

A very discreet package arrived at my home on a Monday morning. Big chunk inside, cristaline, good looking. I managed to ignore it for 2 days because i had a shit-ton of work. But on day 3, i thought "what the hell, just a little bit". And i smoked some. I can't complain, usually when i smoke it takes between 30 mins to 1hr to kick in, and it's mild. This was instant and more intense than usual.

I had just relapsed, but didn't feel bad about it. Before relapsing I had planned a sex party for that weekend with non-users, so it was supposed to be a drug-free party. As you can guess, plans changed after that moment.

Thursday, i was already horny with expectations, and i decided to try another ROA so i boofed, thinking it would take me to outer space, as it usually works great for me. But i felt nothing. Like i had just put plain water in my hole. Strange, but i didn't have time to think about it, too much work again.

Saturday, party time. I went to the cheap motel, and while I was waiting for the guys, i smoked some. Again, instant and nice.

And when they arrived and after some naked wrestling, i asked them to put that shit in my vein, one of them used to work on health care so he knows how to handle a syringe. I thought that shit would skyrocket me to the infinity and beyond because IV is usually the most intense, orgasmic experience for me... but i barely felt anything. I think smoking it gave me a better, nicer kick.

Sunday. Maybe two days ago when i boofed i did it wrong? So i tried again. And felt the same amount of fucking nothing again.

10 days later, no meth at all during that period. I tried oral in the morning, but nope, it just made me anxious and sweaty, but no high/rush. I boofed again, and felt nothing again.WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WITH THIS PRODUCT??? It worked nice when smoked, but it didn't do shit with other ROAs. And that 'nice' from smoking is not remotely close to the AMAZING it used to be when slammed.

So i will try to quit again. This morning I crushed the rest of that big chunk, disolved it in water with baking soda, poured a LOT of bleach in the toilet with some other cleaning product i know it's not supposed to be mixed with bleach, poured the meth/water/baking soda mix in the toilet and when it started bubbling i flushed that shit away from my life, hopefully this time for good. Deleted my plug's phone, he is not talking to me anyway because I refused to lend him some money. I put all my gear in a garbage bag and dumped it in a shady place far from my home. Probably i will relapse again in the future, but the first time I tried to quit i was sad, this time I'm pissed off!