I’m getting picked up by some friends in about 12 hours, and they’re going to help me for real. Since New Year’s Eve I’ve been amping up my usage a LOT, so it currently takes a fuck ton of dope to keep me up for a single day. I had managed to convince my friends that I had quit using when I wasn’t planning on leaving where I am now (back a few weeks ago). They decided they wanted to come get me when they overheard my partner verbally abusing me and successfully gaslighting me into taking blame about a situation where I was a victim. The plans were made literally like yesterday and though I’m using a bit less each day, I battle with really strong fatigue that almost makes it impossible to function at times. I was hoping to taper my usage down to nothing and then maybe sleep for a day; I really didn’t want to have to be honest about my actual amount of usage, mostly because I know they’ll be disappointed in me, but also because I’ll for sure have to sleep for a solid two days if I just throw away what I have. Idk if anyone will understand but I’m overwhelmed with emotion about everything and I’m terrified to face the change that I know is fast approaching