Idk if this is the right place to post this. I just feel really alone even though I shouldn't be. I had a falling out with a friend three years ago and got super obsessive to the point I tried to kill myself. I still can't get over this even after three years and I can't really keep up with school I'm doing my homework right now but I just can't stop thinking about this person. It's just intrusive thoughts and I hate it. I just wish I could forget the whole incident but I can't and I hate myself for getting to that point in the first place to get so obsessive that I lost my mind. On top on that my boyfriend is in jail over a weed charges, and it's driving my crazy especially since we broke up. I mean he was super sweet about it and said I need to focus on myself and he needs to focus on himself, but we can still be friends. But, I still feel abandoned by him even though it's not his fault for being in jail or breaking up with me . I just feel lonely because these two people aren't in my life and I got way too attached again. I just feel empty without them. I mean I don't have any friends right now and need friends but way too scared to have a relationship right now. I have my single mom and cats but I am lacking empathy with them since my ex friend is gone and the whole thing with that. It's just affecting every aspect of my life from school to work. I can't afford 50.00 for therapy when I spend like crazy or work on classes when I spend most of my days sleeping, getting drunk or being hypersexual af . I just feel like a complete failure and mess of a person. I just wish I had my shit together. I wish I had real friends, but people are so fake I just have became a cynical asshole lowkey and I don't want to be cringy like that so I rather just hurt myself than hurt others . I just really hate myself and feel empty without people it's just gross and I wish I could stop feeling this way.