in january 2021 i had really bad psychosis that put me in the mental hospital for a week, and in that time i was living alone so i can’t quite remember the reason i went in (probably tried to kms). anyways, my sister rehomed my cat quentin while i was in there. and it's been years and i still hate myself and hold some kind of resentment towards my sister as well for doing that to me. i hate myself because of who i am; if i didn’t struggle with my fucking brain i would probably still have my cat. quentin was the first cat i ever had and i feel like he was my soul mate in cat form. i cry sometimes at night because i miss him so much. i eventually found the girl my sister had rehomed him to, and the stupid ass bitch had let him outside and he never came back. i looked for him for years and eventually gave up and accepted that i would never see him again. i feel like he was the only thing in this life that ever showed me love. i raised him as a baby and loved him like he was my child. i’m sad. how can i stop grieving him so much