Sometimes I wonder what the point of everything is. It all just feels like it amounts to nothing.

People find it so easy to say things like, "it gets better!", "tomorrow could be better!", "there's always hope!", "it takes time".

When? What about all the tomorrows that didn't turn out better? How much time is enough? What if you just struggle your whole life only to be disappointed with failure or sadness?

Life isn't 100 percent bad ofc, but it's bad enough nonetheless.

It feels foolish to believe in the mere possibility of something simply because the possibility exists. I don't believe in things without evidence. And on the other hand, I have years of proof and "tomorrows that could be better" but didn't.

I wanted to modify my outlook on the future but I suppose pessimism is actually just completely justified for some of us. At that point it might even be accurate to just call it realism.

Life isn't fair. Not everyone goes through the same severity of things. Sure, many people have it worse, but another man drowning doesn't my life feel any better. It sucks to not be amongst the ones favored by fate from birth.

tbh, i could care less about what's going on with other people when it comes to this. i know that my life has been trashy for long enough. that's all i care about.

im trying to convince myself that life and struggling to try to get what i want in life is worth it but i just can't.