Hi y'all. My first post here, 27/female/Canada.

**** Domestic violence/drug abuse/******

*Happy ending*

Thursday my (now ex) partner of 12 years put his hands on me. He's undiagnosed schizophrenic who is in complete denial and turned to drugs to cope. This has been a nightmare I've been living for the past 4 years.

I've seen him going into states of drug induced psychosis numerous times, along with extreme sleep deprivation. I hope no one ever has to survive through the hell I've gone through trying to help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

Heavy cocaine use for years, destroying his nose, mind and just everything. Accusations started, completely out of this world type of things towards me. He would record me constantly, spend hrs distorting this videos of nothing, sometimes no image convinced he was seeing me cheating... It got wilder as time went on. I was 100% abused mentally and emotionally for years to the point I thought it was my fault in a sense. I know better now.

Break ups happened, lots of fighting , nothing ever physical. Cops been to our home numerous times for him being mentally unstable. I had to call my city's mental health crisis team once because I had no idea what to do. Grams upon grams of coke .. not sleeping, he snapped. Shadow people everywhere. Wasn't even in this dimension. I told the woman he was on day 5 no sleep and she immediately sent the cops and emts.

It was terrifying and has caused me to develop CPTSD from the extended trauma I've dealt with. I was in denial for years about how this has effected my own mind and it hit me heavy, dealing with it all.

Fast forward, he starts selling crack, lying about smoking it and it gets more frequent.

I've been basically checked out of this for weeks but the situation and have tried to leave many times.

Thursday we went to a bar. Long story short, I went home to sleep cuz I had to work at 8am . It's 12am. Idk where he's been all night. Go home, get woken up by him shaking me and screaming " you dirty f***ing, nasty whore" and about 1000 other disgusting names.

He's drunk as a skunk and sweating profusely. I can tell he's been smoking. Accuses me of touching another man's Johnson at the bar. I get aggressive back, I've become very good at defending myself and don't back down (unfortunately) things escalate, gets in my face , I push him, he grabs me by my throat, chokes me. I swing while he's doing this get him off. Punched me in the side of the jaw, I fall on the bed, ears ringing. I throw a heavy glass ashtray at him across he room, miss. Threw a couple other things. He grabbed a hammer and held it like he qas gonna hit me , I put my cheek up to him , tapped it and said , better make it f***ing good. I ran into the bathroom (naked btw) hes banging and screaming , I call 911. I somehow managed to get the door unlocked so they could get in.

As he gets the door open and is screaming " I'm going to knock your teeth out you nasty slut " the cops tackle him. End up hauling him out.

I made a 4 page statement, he has court in August. I'm charging him. He's not allowed at our home or around me. I changed the locks the same day.

His stuff has been packed and sitting at the front door. I got the apartment.

I'm very bruised up on my arms and legs , my face luckily isn't. My throat has been rough. My voice has been gone for 2 days and is slowly coming back.

I just wanted to share my wild ride and hope if someone has ever gone through this and felt alone, you're not. I'm working on my peace now. It's been too long, I'm excited to live alone and free from mental hell. I'm definitely looking into therapy because this is just the tip of the iceberg of what I've went through.

I'm always open for advice, questions or stories from anyone who has or is experiencing any of this. You're not alone ❤️❤️