Ik how stressful it can be for someone to have a partner with mental illness. But i feel like the moment it shows it gets villanized then they call you crazy the rest of your life to their friends.

Do believe that you have to put in the work to make it more manageable for yourself and others but certain conditions aren't curable or can take awhile to get treatment for. I feel like as long as someone is aware of the condition and activitly finding ways to manage it they shouldn't be made to feel crazy in a relationship. I see so many people talking bad about people with Adhd, Autism, and Bpd and it hurts so bad seeing some of the comments cause theres a chance i have these things.

I see them saying the people they interacted with should've fixed their problem and be normal or that it was too much for them to handle

I feel like in a situation where people get overwhelmed with people's mental health problems then they shouldn't date them knowing this. It'll save both parties from trauma and other things that could arise.

But also at the same time there is a large amount of people on the world with mental illness so to fi d someone completely without any is unheard of.

So i wonder if its an unrealistic expectation if someone wants their partner to not have any symptoms rather than them still having them but managing them.

I get that some conditions can have severe symptoms but its hard for even the people that uave had progress or cant change how their brain is.

People always say never get in a relationship until your mentally well or completely healed but are we all really that way when things come up in life and we will constantly experience things. I think building security is more realistic since it takes into account flaws that aren't abusive or manipulative. But at the same tine some conditions can make people that way too or seem that way. But at the same time im not sure.

All ik is that in the dating game even if you are trying to be as mentally healthy as possibly people will look down on you because of your condition. You dont know if you should be upfront about it or not because of that stigma and fear of being seen as not human. The stigma makes people with mental illness thing we arent deserving of a relationship until we fix ourselves. And during that process you can push people away.

Its all confusing because you can go to therapy because thats the default advice everyone gives. And the therapist says,

"YOU NEED TO BUILD CONNECTIONS AND HAVE A SUPPORT SYSTEM"

Um news flash those same people said that that is your job actually. Everytime i try i get told to go back to you since your a professional in helping others.

They say try dating and that doesn't work because ooo anxiety equals crazy and so does adhd and all that. And to make things worse you have the people that exploit that to their advantage.

I had an incident where i felt bad for venting to someone i was talking to and they said,

"You can make it up to me in other ways"

I was so horrified. On top of that i had to was them play with their privates as a "birthday gift". I cry everytime i think of that.

It feels unfair that we are practically told what we need by professionals to help with our conditions but since society is so individualized we cant build the support we need and we are forced to be alone and made to think we are problems and burdens. Its not fair ontop of our brains telling us this society reinforces it.

Whenever i hear ads where they are spreading awareness around mental health or saying they care i never believe because life has showed me everything but that.

I hate this world. Its a prison.

The only thing i have left to cope is my imagination. Imagining i have a support group. That i have a secure relationship where the love is equal and that we are both equal. I life i feel so secure that despite still having my conditions i can at least be somewhat comfortable and be myself.

Everytime i wake up. Everytime i come out of a daydream, the world gets dark and grey and the sadness takes over.