So, this may come off as strange but if you have had the life I have/had you would not judge lol

So, I think I have abandonment issues, and here is why

1. Whenever someone leaves me, it can be for an hour to the store or to work for 8 hours Idk, I feel this sense of loneliness, worry, stress, most of all I feel like they won't return like.. Like when people leave me for some reason I feel like they take a huge sigh of relief. Am I that bad of a person that people just cannot WAIT to get rid of me? I always feel like people are lying to me when they say they miss me or wanna hangout with me.. I feel which leads into my 2nd point
2. - people only want me around to use me. Not to toot a horn or anything, but I have been told I am extremely emotionally intelligent and I am the most selfless person they know.. Well why do you take advantage? If you know this person loves and cares and supports you, why take advantage? I don't understand the way I am treated in life yet I am always taking care of others.. Then I get left behind and left with no resources for myself..

Maybe I am the issue but when I ask people no one gives me an answer or if they do, it is always the same, lazy answer: "Life will get better, just say no and people will respect that.." Have you been to life, if not welcome.. People are not this civil and honest. Unfortunately I think that people think like I do which isn't the case, not everyone is kind to others and not everyone is going to be so open and trusting as me..

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So I have more than abandonment issues here, but I am not sure where to place this? Because of my past and the way I feel people treat me, I try my best to just stay to myself. I keep myself at home, locked away and honestly I do not wish to talk to people. I know I have depression but a part of me never wants to be alone and Idk what is wrong with me. When people leave that door my entire mind shuts down, and I try my best to hide how ridiculous I am being..

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It can be my mom, my child when she's off with family, my partner, my friend, my siblings, my god parents anyone. Idk, any advice?

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TLDR, I think I have complex abandonment issues