This is probably an FAQ, but I am at a loss for what to do and I need help from the hivemind.

Me: 40M, married, kids, working. Diagnosed MDD, medicated and doing pretty well. Had some therapy a few years ago and I'm maintaining about 7-8/10 for quality of life.

Her: 36F, married/kids, working as a teacher. Diagnosed ADD, on Adderall XR. She has been struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD from childhood trauma. Most of the ADD meds increase the anxiety. She has had scripts for SSRIs and NDRIs. SSRIs were a bad fit but NDRIs seemed to work well for her.

She told me yesterday she was at stage 11/12 of burnout, just above total mental and physical collapse. She stopped taking her antidepressants. I try to help her engage in the things she likes and take obligations off her plate but it doesn't help. I have tried repeatedly to get her to see a therapist, and she'll contact one therapist, find out they aren't taking patients and give up. I've offered to do all the legwork or find her someone to go to (I have total flexibility in my work/free schedule) and she won't. She has 8 weeks of sick time and refuses to take time off.

I really want to help her but I don't know how since she doesn't want to help herself. It seems she doesn't want anyone else to help her either. When I was in my worst phases of depression, she had to make the appointments and (figuratively) drag me to the doctor/therapy to get help.

I just don't know what I can do to get her the help she needs when she's refusing it or gives up at the slightest roadblock.