I don't know why but dreams have always been a mixed bag for me. I've had dreams that help me feel better, somehow changing my entire mental state and giving me a false sense of closure on situations that I couldn't fix normally. But...even the best of dreams can leave me sad and more depressed when I wake up.

I dreamt of my ex, just being close to her. Nothing serious just having her there again to hold close. It felt as if all the stress and sadness was gone. But I wake up and reality hits, she's gone, we're never getting back together, I am...alone. Usually dreams like this are a sign that the day will not be a good day and it's never proven itself wrong.

The other downside is I find myself slowly waking up at a healthy time, my body is telling me to get up and stop sleeping. But the dream is still going and I don't want it to end, it's nicer and more entertaining than what I know I'll experience if I wake up. Plus I'll lose the good dream and I'll forget something I don't want to.

Rarely these days do dreams actually make me feel better, only once has it happened and even that didn't last long. Idk...maybe my need for escapism is just growing as I become more and more depressed. I have no therapist to see or talk to, no professionals to examine my journal or my problems to deduce whats wrong. I don't even have close friends who can help cause I'd just overwhelm them with the constant day to day issues.

I wish there was an easy solution but nothing in life is easy. I just gotta hope it goes away eventually.