I'm feeling really hopeless and helpless. I found out two days ago that my ex is engaged and have been feeling all kinds of negative emotions. We weren't together long but I fell really hard for her. I thought I was starting to finally get over her but then this news hits me and I almost totally collapse. I've been single since she broke my heart and its been very hard trying to move forward. It has been 2 years since we were together and one of my friends scolded me to move on and forget her but I feel like I'm stuck in a ditch that she dug for me for 2 years. I'm not attractive, somewhat overweight, too nerdy for my own good and believe that I dont deserve to have someone who cares about me. All I want to do is crawl in a crevice and die to escape the pain. Somedays I feel like no one cares about me and that I'm alone to face the cruelty of this world that doesn't want me in it. I feel I've lost more times than I've won, been treated like shit at every job except one, every girl ignores my attempts to simply talk to them, and feel like a ghost. Am I doing something wrong with my life? I feel overwhelming anxiety when thinking about leaving my home even to get groceries or even to go to work sometimes. And if its not the anxiety its my depression that beats the shit out of me. Ive tried antidepressants therapy and was even hospitalized for this shit and cant seem to get out of this hole I call home. I feel like I should just give up and call it.

TL;DR: feeling hopeless, a ghost in life that gets beaten down before I can think about getting up.