TW: mentions of sexual abuse

I am now in my mid-20s. Last year I was told by a therapist that I am/was suffering from complex trauma.

To explain my situation. I was sexually abused at a really young age by a person who was close to my family. This individual stuck around for years, up until my teens when it first dawned on me that what he did to me was wrong. However, I tried really hard to keep it a secret, in an attempt to "keep up appearances." I thought this was the right thing to do.

Of course this wasn't sustainable for my mental well-being. I would spend nights crying about it but then wake up the next day and pretend like nothing was wrong. And I actually believed this. Looking back, I see that my positive affirmations and pushing aside distressing thoughts and feelings as a coping mechanism for a difficult time. But that's where my problem is.

You see, I'm a very obsessive thinker. Now when I try to let go of negative thoughts and reassure myself that everything will be ok, I can't. I'm too afraid that I'm just leading myself down another scary path of denial.

My abuser has long been out of my life now since opening up to my friends and family about the abuse. Fortunately for me, I received a lot of support in that regard. However, I think that having suffered silently for so long still affects me today.

How can I tell my mind that it's ok and I don't have to be afraid of letting go?

TLDR; Negative experience with pushing aside distress and attempting to soothe with reaffirming thoughts make it hard in my daily life to let go of negative, obsessive thoughts, need help letting go.