I suffer from Childhood PTSD and a panic disorder; I'm a 31 year old man who can barely hold down a part time job at this point but I'm trying.

I was neglected, beaten, raped, bullied (by every member of my family and at school due to my sister spreading rumors about me), suffered major burns on my feet and leg, and have multiple instances of near death as a kid.

I thought things were getting better but I'm still extremely lonely and haven't been in a relationship since my teens. I just feel worthless and a burden tbh, I don't want to inflict my issues on others but I have to depend on others to get to work.

I have to wear a blindfold in vehicles and I have very specific triggers from trauma such as tall buildings, hills, large bodies of water, and on severe anxiety days even the sky.

I think I'm just fucked. How do I even move forward from here?