Im sick of my life

I hate how my life going everything is getting worse for the last 5 or so years and everytime i try to fix my life sonething come and fuck it up im barely motivated and are allways stressd about my education and life and my school now wants me to redo a whole fucking year just becuse i failed one subject i dont know if i need to tell my parents or just keep it till my dea th, im kinda going sui cidal and started smoking to calm myself down, if mys school kicks me out i will have nothing to liv e for anymore i have no idea what im gonna do in my li fe i feel like if i never existed everything could have been better for everyone around me i dont even know whats going on with and why my life is getting shi t i have no fuc king idea why im failing at lif e nor why everything just dicided to go against me.