The system is so wacked. I can't even seem to find a provider and I'm in crisis. I feel bad using emergency resources, but dang. In two weeks all I've been able to do is get my insurance folks on the phone. Doctors and therapists are either full and have a waiting list or just never answer. It's hurting my mental health to know that I'm going to have to go to an urgent care on a maybe they'll fill my meds. All of this effort feels like it's pushing me toward another in patient stay, but I cannot go through in patient again. They take your phone and shove you in a room with a stranger. They barely had me under control in there as it was. I was so afraid and anxious the week I was in there just felt like a couple days. I'm trying to be a big boy and manage my stuff responsibly, but how can I manage this when these places can't manage themselves?

I told the people at in patient I wouldn't be going back too. I really don't want to make an ass of myself. I got rather shitty with them at one point because people were breaking the rules and it was triggering me.