Hey everybody! I'm here because I wanna seek help from people who are possibly more experienced with this than I am. I have struggled with a phone and media addiction for years.

I have always been able to wiggle my way through life despite many mental health problems and my screen addiction, but recently it has become worse. I have noticed myself sticking to my screen whenever I'm not at work. I have ADHD so I paradoxically use it to stay regulated when I feel overstimulated. Even though it stimulates me even more, it gives me dopamine. But I have trouble sitting with my emotions - my fear, my stress, my grief - and the phone is my quickest fix. And I almost mindlessly reach for it when I need it and get lost in it for hours.

I am a very curious, excitable person and happy in other areas of my life after hears of healing other traumas, but lately I have lost most of my many hobbies to this addiction thing, I cannot stick through a single book or I neglect excercising because watching Netflix, Instagram reels, Youtube or random documentaries takes up too much of my time. My home is a mess and I find myself getting more lonely and neglecting not only friends and family but also important deadlines, like for college applications for example. I've tried to get away from it many times before but somehow my addiction has always found a way to cheat - like I've used an app to block Instagram? Nice, but the browser version on my laptop still works.

I don't want to go further down this path. I've been suffering for so long, I feel like I'm wasting my life like this and I wanna finally put a stop to it. At this point, my media usage is an almost physical barrier between me and the things that I actually want. Unfortunately, because of various reasons, psychological counceling is not an option, so I wanna heal this addiction myself. How can I do that? Which tricks or tools can I use? How can I find support in friends or family etc?

The problem right now, however, is that I have a long-distance boyfriend who I love very much and I really want to be with him. I don't want to go cold turkey and get rid of my phone because I want to stay in contact with him. (Life without a phone seems unreasonable and impossible in this day and age anyway.) Exchanging memes and insights on Instagram or watching Netflix together or texting on WhatsApp frequently is what keeps us alive and connected as a couple. However, the temptation of scrolling through Instagram or clicking on a random Youtube after I've messaged my boo is sooo high, since I'm on the phone anyway.

Does anyone have an idea how I could distance myself from media healthily while also not neglecting these fundamentals of my relationship?