We talked more about it because it was something we both liked, but our views were different. Again the rats chewed because you always said, you didn't need anyone else and you were happy with us. But when we started talking about it again, you said it wasn't enough. You wanted to do it alone, and you pushed and pushed. The hole time I knew you were still talking the them, hurting me deeper and deeper. Until you said we needed to end. Why. You lied to me again. I wasn't enough, you hated what I wanted, because it involved us both. It was all about sex, why did this end up so bad. Your lie of how I could be the only one made the rats go crazy. We fought and yelled but still I loved you. I don't know why but I still loved you. It finally came the day where I moved out. It hurt like hell but I didn't know what else to do. My parents helped and supported me alot. Even tho they didn't like you, they still loved you. You've been drinking alot now and smoking a ton. It hurt me to see you killing yourself again. My parents left and I lasted about a week. I was alone and scared and had no hope. The rats were at full force, telling me I'm a joke. Overthinking this all and worrying about you. I took the pills to silence the rats, but once again It didn't end how I had hoped. I went to inpatient. I still hoped for you and loved you with my all. But you weren't supportive at all and didn't help my thoughts. Who knows what you did while I was gone. I can only imagine the guys you had over. And it sickens me still. But then things cha ged and you said you weren't ready to let me go. We agreed we would work things out and give it another go. You still were not super supportive, but at least I knew I had you. Until it was visiting day and you told me you had second thoughts again. It broke me once again, I've lost count.