I am 18 years old. As a kid, i loved performing, learning and most of all, people. I had a great childhood, good middle-class home and despite some ups and downs and my adhd i was about as happy as one could be… until i started to think too deeply.

How could it be? One thing or another? Theres things i’ve never told anyone. Things i’ve thought, witnessed, experienced that i cannot clear my head of.

At 13, i cut myself badly enough to still have big ugly scars now. I had become miserable and loathsome, the antithesis of what i had been in the years prior.

Multiple psychologists, psychiatrists, medications and phases later I have come to a point.

I spend my days struggling to think properly with the overwhelming worry, the deep unrest i feel. Sickening.

I feel wrong in my own skin. I feel infested.

I can’t live like this. This is hell.

I’m paranoid, anxious, delusional, I can’t concentrate, cant motivate myself, constantly worried. I don’t really know what to say.