I 40f recently went through a horrible breakup in which I was cheated on and left to file bankruptcy and back living with my mother. I went to drop something off for a friend at a bar and made a cute connection with a guy. It felt soooo good to feel cute and wanted. We have only texted on and off for two weeks and when he texts me I am on such a high like I rule the world and when I don’t hear from him I feel all crushed and depressed and ruminate on my breakup. I am doing all these things so it appears to people I am ok - I workout signed up for dance classes and am taking better care of my physical appearance. But I am sooo lonely and depending on these texts or even strangers online to really feel wanted or happy. I don’t know how to be happy when I’m alone I haven’t been alone in almost 15 years. The pain makes me drug myself to sleep when I have nothing to do and I hate that I do that but all I do is cry. I don’t know how to be happy as a single person and feel so stupid all the time. I’m so all over the place I don’t even know what I am asking for in here