If you are experiencing suicidal ideation, many countries have hotlines you can call. The people on the phone have experience and training and are very compassionate. They may even be able to help you find resources. I have used this and I can report a very good experience. Please use the grounding techniques below. They will help to reduce your anxiety.

https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/

Anti-Anxiety Resources

Grounding techniques are very effective. From personal experience they helped me go from near breakdowns to functioning again very quickly. I highly recommend the 1-2-3-4-5 technique. Practice is key, practice a few times a day even when you are calm to ingrain them.

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/tips-to-help-ease-anxiety

https://www.jmu.edu/counselingctr/files/Grounding Techniques.pdf