I am starting to think hard work is over-rated. I consider myself a hard worker. I don't procrastinate, I am quite disciplined. Too much, perhaps.

It doesn't help.

My family and financial situation keeps crushing me. I am tired of my crappy physical and mental health. Years have gone through which I keep fighting so that I may live to see better days. I live hours in a state where I can't speak to people because I'm crippled by my health and my family takes it personally and causes more issues for me (narcs).

If I just had a stable income and was independent, I could perhaps live the way I want. But there's no knowing when - or rather, "if" - that would ever happen. I'm making a lot of changes to my life (or trying to, anyway), but life always has unfavourable circumstances for me.

Why should I believe in a better future, or "hope"? They say "you don't know what's in the future", and yes exactly, it could be even worse! It's only been getting worse over the years and I base my beliefs on evidence, not on "copes".

Life is not fair. I just want to give up.