Hi, I’m just really looking for some advice or maybe trying to find people who have dealt with this before. I always did great in school and have been working since I was 15. 2 years ago a stressful personal matter caused me to drop out of college with only a year left and since then things have only gotten worse. Although that issue was resolved, I started to feel completely out of control of my life in every way and like I couldn’t do anything correctly. I’d have psychotic breakdowns over the smallest things, constantly pick fights with the people I cared about, and spent most of my free time using substances to attempt to numb the feelings of being overwhelmed. 2 months ago, I quit my job due to the fact I wasn’t eating anymore or even showering, cleaning, nothing. I regret it a lot because right now as much as I want a job, applying to places, trying to check my overflowing emails, getting back to places is impossible. I have a depression and anxiety diagnosis as well as a PTSD diagnosis and now bipolar but I feel like that might not even be true. I feel like every psychiatrist or therapists I’ve talked to barely listens to me, and pushes me off to the next person, constantly just putting in referrals for me to talk to someone else and prescribing more drugs that don’t do shit until I forget to keep taking them entirely. I do nothing all day but lay in bed, still struggling to get up to take a shower, still not cleaning. I genuinely hate who I am right now and I can’t even go to the grocery store without asking someone to go with me because I’m so terrified of going in there alone and having a panic attack. I’ve thought about checking into the ER over how low I feel but i doubt they’d help since I’m not suicidal (just given up on life). I just want to feel like a person again and gain my independence back but it feels completely impossible. If anyone has any advice or recommendations I’d be thankful.