For context, I'm 18 years old and have now gone through 11 years of chronic depression and suicidal tempetions, and I'm now doing quite well for myself. I've been seeing a phsyciatrist for 4 years and I'm in the verge of putting a buisness, finishing my novel and so much other stuff. But even so, when I'm even slighlty reminded of my childhood, or even mildly threatened, the rage that burned through my darkest years reemerges. My depression started becuase of a few years of the really violent bullying I went through, and I haven't really recovered. For most of my childhood and teenage years, I went everywhere with the expectation of violenece. I feel like I've been robbed so many years due to my depression. When my parents tried to help me, the damage had been done already, and they sometimes only worstend the situation, even though they only do what they think is right for me. But all of this has created this cold powerful rage that I really struggle with. Its just something thats been there so long that its just really engrained in my pearson.

I'm open to advice on how to deal with this.