I want to preface by saying that I'm doing a lot better now. Obviously, I'm still struggling with these feelings, but I'm in a safe space now.

So, a couple days ago, I almost killed myself. I had everything ready to go, but I had wanted to break up with a partner before committing. Though I saw them that night, I wasn't able to tell them and so I just couldn't bring myself to do it while we're still together. The problem now is I just don't know how to handle myself around anybody.

After that night, I came back home to my family and I'm two hours away from all of my friends and partner. Just the thought of having to see them again fills me with so many feelings. Part of me never wants to see any of them again (I think that's mainly due to my irritability from depression that makes me want to isolate from others tho), but I also know that I'm going to have to see them. Literally nobody but my sister knows I was about to kill myself. I think it's the idea that these people will treat me like normal not knowing that I almost died that makes me upset.

I don't know what's really bothering me the most about this situation. All I know is that I don't know how to act or I guess feel normal interacting with everybody I know.