So, I’m a 48yr old married guy in Adelaide, who travels to Melbourne every so often. I’m tall, clean shaven head, bit of stubble and from what I’ve been told quite good looking. Life is very comfortable, I have a beautiful wife and two great kids, a good job with plenty of money, calling my own shots and running my own show. From the outside, most people would say I’ve got it made. And hey, perhaps in many respects I really do!

But… something is genuinely missing from this whole scenario, and it has been for a number of years. Intimacy. We don’t have a genuine connection anymore and it quietly kills a piece of me every day. Simultaneously loving someone whilst watching intimacy fizzle is really hitting me hard, and while this whole space is totally new to me, I’ve decided to just bite the bullet and reach out.

My wife (LLF) just doesn’t need intimacy on any level anymore, and to be honest it’s always been initiated by me to now anyway. But she’s recently confirmed that she really doesn’t need or want touching, kissing, cuddling - and ultimately sex - anymore. She’s also confirmed that she has no real desire to change and genuinely thinks I’m a bit of a weirdo for even wanting more at our age (like, is having an active libido in your late 40’s weird?)

Anyway, everything appears to be off the table indefinitely, despite me trying to initiate discussions often. These initiations are generally swept aside as some sort of defense mechanism in order to avoid the subject - or it gets cancelled altogether.

To this date, every single encounter in this marriage has been initiated by me (HLM) and I guess I’m kind of sick of it? Don’t get me wrong. I love my life, I love my family and yes, I still Iove my wife. So I’m not leaving, but I can’t stay in this holding pattern, starved of both physical and emotional contact for eternity (footnote: for me, the two go hand in hand).

So… people of Melbourne. Talk to me! I really don’t know much about this space, or even if it’s the right forum to flag it, BUT… If, by some miracle, there’s a lady that is having similar feelings or issues in their marriage, that might just be looking to reach out and chat at the very least, I’d be really interested in hearing from you. No expectations. No pressure. None of this grubby sex scene stuff. That’s not me at all. I’m just looking for someone to initially chat with, keep an open mind with, and perhaps just see where things go without all the weird shit. Of course I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hopeful of finding someone similar to enjoy something more intimate with physically, but there’s no hurry.

Anyway, not sure if that’s a) too much information, b) totally off topic or c) too much to ask! But if you fit that description, I guess just drop me a DM? I suspect if you’re like me, you’ll be looking to keep things on the down-low, so definitely no need to respond in comments.

Guess I’ll just keep my fingers crossed. If you’re out there (miracle girl in Melbourne), I can’t wait to hear from you! 🤷‍♂️