Gusto ko sana maging masaya for my friends na nakapasa sa batch 4 ng SBU.

Pero it's been months na. Hindi ko na kinakaya yung rejections. I want to be a doctor. I want to so bad na I will do anything in my power to get in. I do believe I am equipped well naman with knowledge and resources. I have the passion, the drive, the finance, the courage, and resiliency to finish and become a doctor in the future.

I'm just so disappointed at myself kasi ang stats ko ay considered na mababa and not up to standards sa kanilang Med schools. A friend of mine got in agad, they have better stats than mine. I really have a bad experience with being picked last and I will never do that to a person so that's why this anxiety and sadness hits hard kasi I feel like I am worthless. It's really hard to pick yourself up if the system only favors those who shine bright. My passion to become a doctor is still high but at this point I am losing hope na it's dying down. My mental health is stooping down so low, again I almost resorted in SH kanina just to breathe.

At the end of the day, this is still just a rant. Days will go by, and new batches will come. My name or number won't be there and I will feel that I am worthless again. I just want it to stop na lang.