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This is a long one as I feel the more things I listed the better chance any reader patient enough to go through it. (Apologies in advance its long and kinda ramblely)
So when I started therapy after getting out of IOP I listed off some of the things I do to my therapist, who mentioned they sound like OCD. I haven't really thought of actually going through the diagnosis/ruling out process cause it doesnt interfere with my life often enough to require it, though that sort of changed today. Today though got me thinking about all the other stuff I do incredibly often, and I was curious. Is this a case of "omg guys im so OCD" thinga where theyre really just habits, or are these actual symptoms of OCD? Also as a little preface, I've already been diagnosed with both depression and ADHD.
So, a lot of what I do involves numbers or counting. When it comes to single use items, as well as some foods (snacks like goldfish, paper towels, soap, even cookies), I have to grab/use/eat an odd number of them, otherwise I am incredibly uncomfortable for a decent amount of time, it bothers me far more and for far longer than it should when I have an even number of each item, to the point where I'll give away food even if I'm hungry or still want it. When it comes to stuff like paper towels this can cause me to take more or less than I actually need, well more/less if I feel the need to make it a prime number. Thats another thing, primes can make my brain go yes. I also feel very bothered when for instance I'm grabbing packs of jelly at the dining hall and the rows dont look right to the point I usually go to fix it, and the irk remains if theres 1 random pack left outside the arrangement. Something similar happens with the stacks of cups in the dining hall, though I usually stop myself from fixing it (cause thats unsanitary). I used to and still sometimes do the same thing with store displays/shelves, though that's gotten rarer with time.
This next thing is what has me thinking this is the "omg ocd" type thing, I count my steps. I need to follow a regular pattern when the floor is subdivided. The best for me are sets of 3 or 4. Four lets my left foot always lead/step on new colors first. I've managed to get around the issue of the tiles being unfortunate lengtha by finding different, more bothersome patterns (2 3 2 3, stuff like that). In addition, I can physically feel when I step on crack and the feeling lingers, to the point I used to have to stomp my foot to make it feel better. If the pattern doesn't follow as I expect it to (i.e on my way back to my room Im following a pattern of five and insted do 4 or 6) I will shuffle or move backwards so I can fix the mistake.
Some of my behaviors involve certain stimuli, as I mentioned with my feet. A common theme among a few of the sensory ones involve making sure one body part feels the same as it's sibling. My eyelids and feet used to be big ones, but the only ones that've stuck around are my fingers. Im near constantly messing with the area between my nails and the front/top of my fingers (where the tip of the nail ends). I use my fingers, folded parts of my clothes, headphone wires, my pencil, anything that can get between the nail and the finger proper so it doesnt bother me. As mentioned in one of my posts on this subreddit this may very well be causing actual damage to the nailbed on my thumbs.
With my hands I also need to wash my hands a very specific way, and I do not touch nobs on bathroom faucets or doors. Doesn't take too much extra time but it still happens.
I also sometimes compulsively bite bits off my cheeks and lip. Nowhere near to bleed or even hurt (it's the very top layer of skin), but it still happens. Same goes for stuff like calluses or loose dead skin. I also cant really stop myself from picking at scabs, and tbis does hurt and bleed, while also leaving me with scars.
One last thing I will mention which used to happen incredibly often but now only happens now and then, it feels as if the bones and skin of my face have morphed to match that of someone elses, and its incredibly uncomfortable. I have to stretch and move for a solid minute to get it back to normal.
With all that said, what are the chances these are OCD related, something else mental health related, or just random habits I'm looking too deep into? And would it be worth going through testing just for the sake of knowing considering it doesnt hinder my day-to-day life much?
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