I used to always eat from Redpath's Poke Bar. The fresh salmon, sticky rice, and ripe mango used to make my day whenever I had a decent-sized break between classes. The combination of flavors and sauces was always so fresh and delicious, filling my mouth with a million textures and flavors like I was chewing on a rainbow.

However, this has all changed this year. When ordering from the bar, I've recently noticed the raw salmon looking a lot less fresh and having a strange smell to it. I consider myself to have a pretty strong stomach so I've continued eating it with no problem. Unfortunately, this was an unforgettable mistake. Since last night I've been unable to have a bowel movement, my anal walls clogged to the brim with the chunky salmon-turned-excrement. But it refused to budge, no matter how hard I stressed.

On my way to class this morning, I got a feeling I can only describe as someone jacking a screwdriver up and down my lower intestine. Without even going to the classroom I knew I needed to use the bathroom. I was in a McGill public bathroom for TWO HOURS, shitting and vomiting on and off. I took turns on the toilet shitting into it and then vomiting in it, ultimately creating a syrupy concoction I can only describe as toxic sludge. It was only after the first hour had I realized that this sludge had oozed onto my backpack, pants, and underwear, sealing my fate for the worst train ride home of my life. My anus still hasn't recovered. I skipped class and I've been reeling in pain ever since the incident. DO NOT EAT THE RAW SALMON FROM REDPATH'S POKE BAR. This isn't the first time I've shit myself at McGill but it's certainly the most traumatic. You've been warned.

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I know this will probably be taken down from being too graphic BUT the student body deserves to know the salmon is NOT fresh and NOT delicious. I'm posting this for the safety of other student's anuses.

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TLDR; I got food poisoning from Redpath's Poke Bar :(