I have lost touch with one of my two sisters. We haven't spoken properly for a few years She has also cut off contact with our other sister. We have to interact occasionally as we have an elderly father but these exchanges are very terse and hostile (palpable hostility from her directed towards both of us).

I know it can be dangerous to try and diagnose another person's MBTI (I am still very new to all of this). But I was wanting to understand her better and see where she might be coming from and hopefully get some do's and don'ts with regard to our difficult family relationship. I guess I mainly want to know whether it is worth trying to salvage at all or whether it is best to just accept the current state.

She is inbetween my sister and me (five years older than me, five years younger than my older sister).

I would definitely predict she is I rather than E. She is not the type to e.g. initiate conversations, quite shy with new people in the main. She does not have a wide circle of friends.

I also think she is more S than N. Tends to be quite practical and pragmatic rather than visionary and conceptual.

From F and T, I would err on the side of F. She is a worrier and also been quite hypochondriac. Even when the facts and make it highly likely she is physically fine she won't believe it and always think the worse. She can also be quite fiery tempered and prone to blowing up over small things. I offended her last time we were together because I said I'd prefer not to eat junk food. She interpreted this as my having a dig at her husband (who is obese). So the word paranoia springs to mind.

Then I would say P rather than J. She is not particularly structured or planned in her approach to life (e.g. tends to leave things to the last minute then panic or completely underestimate how long it will take to get somewhere).

So my best guess would be ISFP.

But when I read the description - it doesn't seem to align. My sister can be quite feisty and fiery in her temperament and bears grudges for years and years. My elder sister (ENFP) and I (ENTJ) cannot quite work out what we have done for her to cut us off. When I last asked her she said "Well if you don't even understand why - then that explains everything and I'm not going to tell you!!"

She has borne a grudge against another family member (a first cousin) since they were 10 and 5 years old. Forty years later - you can absolutely sense the hatred my sister has towards this one cousin. When you ask her what it's about - my sister doesn't know. But there is definitely a tendency to harbour very, very long-standing resentments. She will remember precise details of what someone said / did 30 years ago and still feel aggrieved at this.

With my parents she is loving, kind and generous. I believe the same is true of her own nuclear family. Loyal, supportive, caring.

Any clues/ guesses???