It’s too early to say, though, but I fucked myself up hard for a bit there.

Let me preface by saying that I think I tend to use porn and masturbation as a tool for dissociation when I’m stressed which is maybe Not the healthiest thing to do, but it is what it is.

Anyway, I edged for a week straight, doing more and more every day, to the extent that last night I was riding the edge for about an entire hour straight and lost track of time. I was going to continue it until tomorrow, but I decided to call it early.

And here’s the thing, y’all. I’m 26 and I’d say I know myself pretty damn well at this point. I can push the buttons. And god damn, I pushed all the buttons. I had myself in moderate sensory deprivation, with a really intense hypnosis audio playing, and a silicone masturbation sleeve, so when I finally orgasmed, I f u c k i n g orgasmed. Like; brain shaking, eye rolling, heart pounding, drooling, completely and entirely out of the entire world, only aware of the stars shooting into my brain from my dick and the cum literally pouring out of it and down by body type of orgasm. If that sounds good, I mean, it was, but it also wasn’t. Immediate existential crisis in the shower. Had to pull some meditation shit out of my ass to get myself out of it. Didn’t know where the fuck I was, completely dissociated; and I’m still kind of finding myself now.

Is there such thing as too much orgasm? Because I think found it.

But who’s to say? This was about four hours ago, and I just jerked off again— normally this time, just to kinda reset things— and honestly, I feel kinda good, like I just came out of a spa or something.