I love masturbation so much, and maybe it's exhibitionism of some kind, but I have this weird contradictory streak in me:

I have zero attraction to men. I know I'm not bi. I don't get turned on at all looking at men, and I wouldn't want to have one-on-one sex with one. However, the idea of anyone, women OR men, seeing me masturbating or seeing me naked and knowing they are getting off to it, turns me on.

The other day I got so horny taking photos of myself masturbating, that I even ended up in 'compromising' positions that I would say are not traditional situations for a straight guy to jerk off in. For some reason I found it hugely exciting. I know men and women would play with themselves looking at these photos (I know because whenever I post on Reddit I get inundated with messages from all kinds of people - bi and gay men who want to do things to me, and women who tell me how wet they are or how they came to my photos.

In some of these photos I took during my session, I was lying on the bed face-down, legs straight and slightly apart. The camera is at the feet end of the bed, and you can see me pressing my hard cock down and out between my legs, lying on my wife's vibrator. I am fully exposed, everything visible from behind, even my ass.

In other photos I am bent over the side of the bed. The camera is directly behind me. Again, my cock is pressed down between my legs so it's exposed from the back, onto my wife's vibrator. Some of the time I was even reaching round and touching my asshole with my finger.

All of this felt so exciting. The whole time I am imaging someone watching from behind. My hard cock is being watched, and even my ass. The act itself is taboo and exciting for a straight married man - I think that's why it's a turn-on for me. I guess what I've learnt about myself is that I just love anyone getting off to it. I think I just like doing exciting and creative things.

But the truth is I know that bi or gay guys would see those photos and imagine fucking my ass. Do I actually want that? No. The idea does nothing for me. But the idea that I would carry on masturbating and a guy would get off watching? Maybe.

I think the holy grail for me is women who would get turned on by this level of sexual exploration, and would like to see an attractive man doing things in exciting ways that would not be traditionally considered just 'man jerking off'. I guess I would probably also like to be fingered or pegged by a woman, maybe that's part of it. I know I cum massive loads from the right prostate stimulation.

I think I'd really love something like a MMF threesome that has no real boundaries other than the two guys don't literally fuck each other. I have zero interest in doing that, but for example if the woman found it hot watching us jerking off together, and then played with herself watching it. Or if I was fucking the woman from behind and the other guy is lying under us watching. Even if he ended up with some of my cum dripping out of her pussy onto his face - yeah I guess that's hot.

Sorry for the long rambling post!