TL;DR I think it would be far easier to get 10 dates on tinder than one with my own wife. | 90% of divorced people I know are happy and 10% are miserable, yet 90% of the married people are miserable and 10% are reasonably happy but seem to think that there's a chance they'd be somewhat happier unmarried.

I feel like I am my wife's last priority. Don't get me wrong... she has a lot on her plate. She works part time and shares child and household duties with me. I am grateful for all she does. But getting her to go out on the town or on any kind of date is like trying to drag a boat anchor. She is highly introverted and feels very uncomfortable in social situations and, on the rare occasion that I do get her out, it has to be just her and I. Meeting up with new people is almost always out of the question and chatting up strangers is a hard no. I, on the other hand, am extremely extroverted and want to talk to everyone. I want to get out there and meet people and connect! I want to make friends! I want us to find our tribe!

It has been 12 years of begging her to go out and maybe she will 3 or 4 times a year in a limited capacity. We almost always have to be home before the kids go to bed and rarely can ever stay anywhere overnight.

I just miss romance. I miss talking with someone and getting to know them. I miss not knowing what might happen! Would we kiss? make out? make love? Nope, we're gonna either bring the kids with us or we're going to be home by 8:00 so we can say goodnight to them.

We've been together 14 years and married for 12. Most of the couples we knew back when we got married are already divorced and they all seem sooooo happy in their new lives. They are dating and meeting fun people that match their interests. They're using the apps and, though there seems to be a lot of shitheads of both the male and female varieties on there, they seem to be making connections, having fun, and enjoying life... and dare I say it... having sex. Meanwhile, I feel like I have to make a case any time I want to go out. I can't not go out. My soul dies if I don't. My preference would be that she and I go out together but I want to go out like once a week and she wants to go out more like once a quarter. I'd rather go out alone than not at all... but there's a severe loneliness in that as well.

Furthermore... divorced people have built in child care while their kids are with the ex. It breaks my heart that divorce seems so, so damned appealing. I hate to admit it... I wish I'd never gotten married.