tl;dr

I am not sure if I need advice or I just need to vent. We have been married for 20 years, and for the most part, it has been good. Of course, as with any marriage, we have had our ups and downs over the years. We have two kids both adults now but they still live at home. My wife suffers from several mental illnesses that are mostly under control to a point. She has not worked since our second child was born, due to mental illnesses One of the issues she can be very controlling and if she does not want to do something she will not and that is that. Could be as simple as going to hang with friends. Again I deal with it and make the best of it. One of the other things is there is no way in telling her what to do, it is her way or no way plain and simple.. I know I am making her out to be a monster, but she is not she has a big heart and for the most part a great wife.. but as time goes on, I don't always have the patience to deal with it anymore. I know what triggers to avoid, and I know situations to avoid. I try and talk to her about things that bother me, and either I come off like I am attacking her, or she feels I am attacking her. The other issue that has been causing me alot of grief is the Dead bedroom, when I mean dead I mean non-exsiting for several years. But again this has been a sensitive subject, we have talked about it but it never goes anywhere else. She says I need to show more interest, but it is hard when she shows nothing whats so ever... again it is a two way street and I am at fault as well. The difference is I want to and she shows zero interest. Many times I think why dont I just leave, why not be happy for what time I have left? I guess because I know she can not survive on her own without me, she cant work. and the stress would be to much for her and it will be taken out on everyone close to her.

So thats my life in a nut shell, Like I said she is a great person and has a big heart and I love her.. it is just I am beging to think what if...

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Like I said not sure if this was looking for advice or just to vent.